i have no idea what im doing.

guys seriously what am I doing please help me my cat is also trying to eat my ice cream I don't know how to deal with this.

bulletbutt:

So this little kid at church noticed I’m fat and asked me today “Why do you have a big belly?”

I couldn’t really think of an acceptable answer for that so I simply responded:

“Because I’m full of bees”

I don’t think I’ve seen a more confused and terrified child in my life as I walked away, hearing him whisper “Bees…” to himself.

(Source: fireyams, via eridancaligulas)

unkhs:

I used to be like “I wonder what would happen if I set this thing on fire” and since then I’ve learned that more often than not the answer is “it’ll be on fire”

(Source: bauks, via confirmance)

grawly:

grawly:

i have this 17 second 3d animation of a humanoid shark in a flannel shirt and jeans dancing and i have no idea what to do with it

image

(via grawly)

notallwugs:

Two scientists walk into a bar:

"I’ll have an H2O."

"I’ll have an H2O, too."

The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position as well as pragmatic context.

(via touchyourblood)